..i just don't understand it.
this isn't making me happy.
i thought i'd be happy.
but um no, not totally.
i'm sorry that i'm actually happy in this relationship because it's nice to actually feel important.
and yea i know ...he said he loved me and everything and i said it back.
because i did and i'm sure he did.
it just wasn't making me happy. i don't know how else to put it.
i know he's a great guy and everything, i never doubted that for a second.

i can't help everything that happens.
and i was really hoping that this situation would make me happy.
and for the most part it is, but if my friends have a problem with something i do then i usually wouldn't want to do it.
and alot of this little time that this has been going on, i wanted to end it because the people important to me had a problem with it.
usually if the people i love don't like one thing that i do, whether it hurts them or something, i'd want to stop it that second. i don't want to hurt anyone.
but i don't want to hurt myself either.